000070 - rest in peace...

my grandma passed away just over a week ago.

she was a pretty lady and will be much missed. hopefully she'll meet up with grandpa, somewhere out there.

i know i have trouble expressing my emotions in real life, like i feel sad and acknowledge that i get pangs or moments of depression every so often just thinking about my grandma and grandpa but i haven't been able to cry. i don't know why. obviously, it's no good to force it out but that makes me think even more negative about myself. and it's not about me, really.

it's also been a bit difficult for me in deciding whether or not to blog about this. i'm never really sure where to draw that line in terms of showing your personal life (whole or parts thereof) publicly online for all to read/see. for me, i've kept a journal or diary in one form or another throughout different times of my life. i think it's therapeutic in some ways to write down your thoughts and memories (and read it retrospectively). however, i don't exactly expect anyone to read my diary except for me. so in my opinion, a blog, livejournal or whatever, there's a certain kind of voyeurism you're exposing your personal life to.

which leads me to wonder how others decide what they write in their own blogs and livejournals? what censorship do they impose on themselves??